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Knowing the statistics for sexual crimes against children is enough to make any parent wonder “How can I keep my child safe?” I knew some of the basics already, but I wanted to learn more.

“Predators and Child Molesters: What Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe” is a book by Robin Sax, a former Los Angeles County deputy district attorney who specialized in prosecuting crimes against children.

TONE OF VOICE

This book takes a “Q&A” approach to the topic of child molesters and other predators, answering questions that cover both generalized questions and more specific questions that parents might have. The author’s legal background makes itself obvious throughout the book. There were a few points where I felt the book might be a better fit for parents that are lawyers rather than the general public, but overall the book rounds out to be an excellent resource for all types of parents, and even for teachers or other professionals that work closely with children.

Considering the topic of this book, the book is surprisingly easy to read. Sax does not resort to graphic descriptions of abuse, although some clinical terms are used to describe abuse where relevant. (Such as when answering the question of what acts are considered sexually abusive.) Sax is sensitive toward the parents that will be reading the book, and walks that line between providing the parent with enough information to be clear but not so much that it is traumatizing to read.

CONTENTS

This book is 179 pages long and includes a table of contents that lists each question that the book answers, a foreword by Marc Klaas of KlaasKids foundation, an introduction and Author’s note in which the author explains the topic and the book, 6 different Q&A categories, and an appendix which lists a variety of resources for parents seeking more information. Below is a short description of each of the 6 parts of this book:

Part 1-Recognizing the Predators, Molesters, Pedophiles and Opportunists: This section covers questions about different types of sexual offenders, and clears up confusion about the different terms that might be used. It talks about recognizing predators, why children might be susceptible to predators, and why people sexually abuse children.

Part 2-Talking to Kids about Risks and Recognizing Potential Problems: This section covers a variety of age-specific ways to talk to your children without scaring them and without sharing “too much” information that might confuse them. Topics such as internet use, sleepovers, playing outside, teachers and other school employees, and how to screen nannies are discussed. Other topics related to ensuring the safety of your child and your child’s environment find their way into this chapter, as well.

Part 3-Recognizing Abuse: This section talks about recognizing the different signs of abuse and covers some concerns and questions that parents might have.  Warning signs and what to do about the warning signs are discussed. Other important topics such as “What do I do if I don’t believe my child”, how to handle a suspected molestation of a child that is not your own, and “what makes kids disclose or not disclose molestation” are covered as well.

Part 4-Reporting Sexual Abuse: This, and the next section of the book are where the author’s legal background really comes into play. This section answers questions and fears that parents may have about reporting the sexual abuse of their child. “Will CPS take my child away?” “What will the police do?” and “Will my child have to have an invasive or painful medical exam?” are concerns that almost every parent would have about reporting sexual abuse. This chapter acts as an excellent set of guideposts and much-needed reassurance for parents facing this difficult job.  Questions about sexual abuse allegations during custody hearings, polygraph tests, and other things that parents might wonder about or fear are also discussed in this section.

Part 5-Going to Court: This section talks about the different types of courts (civil court, criminal court, family court, and dependency courts), and what to expect from the process. Child testimony is covered in this section, as are a variety of questions that parents might have about criminal or civil court proceedings and what their experience and their child’s experience might be like.

Part 6-Healing and Moving On: This section answers questions that parents might have after abuse has occurred, and addresses worries that the parent might have about their child’s future. Answers about the healing process help parents guide their child through the different stages of healing and grief. This chapter has a wonderfully sensitive answer to the question of “Can I tell my abused daughter that she is still a virgin?”, as well as answers about how you can talk to your child about the abuse and let them know that it was not their fault.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Robin Sax is a former Los Angeles County deputy district attorney who specialized in prosecuting sex crimes against children. She is the Director of Child/Family Protection and Education for the Amber Alert Registry and is a prominent expert on sexual assault, family violence, domestic abuse, stalking, Internet safety and the criminal justice system.

BOTTOM LINE

“Predators and Child Molesters: What Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe” is an uncomfortable but very necessary book for parents to read. Unlike other books and articles that discuss crimes against children, reading this book leaves the parent feeling empowered and informed rather than helpless and afraid.